Saying Goodbye
by Lunchbox413
Summary: Sasuke is leaving the village to follow his quest for revenge, but he makes a pit stop along the way. Sometimes saying goodbye can make things just a little easier. Mostly one-sided, Sasuke's thoughts. Slight KakaSasu


**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters. If I did, KakaSasu would be canon and Jiraiya would still be alive. **

**A/N: I wrote this after watching episode 109 (when Sasuke leaves Konoha). It takes place the night that Sasuke leaves, right before he runs into Sakura.**

**Also, since there's been so much controversy on here about second person pov, I want to be clear that this is written in second person narrative, but it is NOT the reader's pov. The "you" in this story, is Sasuke. I repeat, it is NOT the reader. I simply used this literary technique (that has been used by several famous authors, such as William Faulkner) to make this story come to life. It just didn't feel right written any other way. **

* * *

You shouldn't be here.

But yet, here you are, perched in the tree outside his window. It's open, the window, and it pleases you to see this because you're the reason he has learned to leave it open. Too many nights, you have shown up on the ledge and tapped on the window for him to let you in. Every time you can't sleep or you have another nightmare, you come here, looking for some sort of solace and security, which he has always been able to provide for you. He never even asks questions. He allows you to come in and pretend that you're going to sleep on the couch, even though you both know that as soon as he turns out the lights, you're going to crawl into the bed next to him.

You shouldn't be here.

Slipping inside is easy enough—your stealth skills have always been exceptional—and you carefully find your way to the bed, though the room is dimly lit by moonlight. You've walked this path enough times to do it blindfolded.

You've never seen him like this; sleeping so soundly. You're usually fast asleep before him, whenever you spend the night and you're pretty sure he never really sleeps when you're here. It's one of the reasons that he makes you feel safe. He's always looking out for you.

He looks so harmless this way, almost delicate, with his silver hair hanging loosely over his face, free from the headband that usually holds it up. His left eye, which is usually concealed by the headband, is exposed, though it's shut tight. And for the first time, you realize just how large that scar is on his otherwise flawless face. It begins just above the silver eyebrow and stretches down across his eye and disappears below that inscrutable mask that he's always wearing. Even in the privacy of his own home, he keeps the lower half of his face covered.

For a brief moment, you consider sneaking a peek at the elusive man's face, but the risk of waking him is too great. You _cannot_ wake him because you know that he'd never let you follow through on your plan. He'd never let you leave.

You shouldn't be here.

You know this and yet, you had to come. You couldn't leave without saying goodbye to the only person who ever taught you anything of value. But it's more than that. Kakashi has always been more than a teacher. He was a comrade and a friend to you before you even knew what those words truly meant. He put his trust in you before you'd ever proven that you could be trusted. And now, here you are, about to betray that trust and throw away everything that this man has done for you.

The guilt seeps into your thoughts and you welcome it, allowing it to fill the crevices of your mind, tainting your memories. It's such a wretched, rotten feeling that you know you deserve. For what you're about to do, you deserve to suffer. Your suffering is what makes you stronger.

Guilt can be a powerful fuel for hatred, and you decide that anytime you need a little motivation, you will remember this moment, remember the sacrifices you've made to follow the path of revenge. You'll remember standing over the man who has loved you and believed in you from the start, and you will remember what it felt like to let him go. You'll remember this awful wretched feeling of betrayal and you'll use it to fuel your hatred for your brother. This is his fault, after all. Not yours. He is the reason that you have to do this.

You shouldn't be here.

You're staring at his face, standing in the storm of guilt and pain and hatred, and suddenly, you can't help yourself. You have to touch him one last time, to make this memory corporeal, and you reach out and gently brush silver fringe away from his scarred eye.

He stirs slightly and you pull away quick, retreating out the window just as he sits up and calls out your name. You stop once you're in the tree and conceal yourself in the leaves before turning back to see if you've been discovered.

Kakashi is sitting up in his bed with a kunai in his hand—and you missed where he pulled that out of—and he's silently scanning the room. You wait, frozen, and pray that he doesn't catch your scent and you're cursing yourself because, of course, he's going to know you were there. He's far too perceptive not to know.

After a moment or two, he lowers the kunai and releases a deep sigh before rubbing his scarred eye with the palm of his free hand.

You release a breath too—you didn't even realize you were holding one in—and your foot slips and snaps a twig. The sound rings out and you know he's looking in your direction, but you flee, afraid to wait around for him to get up and follow you.

You shouldn't have been there.

And yet, you feel a little better somehow, as if you've quelled some of the turmoil that was swirling around within you. It's as if saying goodbye has helped make this just a little bit easier.

* * *

**May I just say that this was extremely difficult to write. Sasuke is not an easy muse because he's severely emotionally stunted and has no idea how to explain himself other than, "I want revenge," and "I want to kill Itachi." So, getting him to open up and actually talk about his feelings is extremely difficult. This is why I prefer to write Kakashi's side in most cases. However, Kakashi, obviously, did not have a side in this because he was asleep. So, that said, I hope this worked. I really do. Haha. I suppose we shall see. **

**Thanks for reading guys! Reviews would be lovely and greatly appreciated.**


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